Wednesday, July 11, 2007
You know wat?
Now's the time i should
reflect upon myself.
Frankly speaking, i perceive myself to be very contradicting. every fucking sentence i say or actions i do or did doesn't make sense. It's neither here nor there. it's paradoxical. that's what i am.
It frustrates alot of people when i talk so fast and they could not capture what i really had said; And when i repeat again, i tend not to finish the bloody sentence. that type of idiosyncrasy usually occurs when i try to convey my message from the bottom of my heart. In other words, words that i really
meant, whether it's good or bad. So, you must be highly attentive to listen what i really had to say, only
once.
Next, i'm generally very good-natured in
general despite the vulgarism. People often take this as a sign of weakness and try to
'makan/eat' or take advantage of me. When they does that, i will gladly comply with a poker face but in my heart i can't take it. Even though the frustration or detest i felt can be 5 cent/10 cent (usually i dismissed it), it somehow can be snowballed to a very precariously dangerous level - my limit. i can honestly tell that i don't where's my limit but i can say i have endured quite a number of fucking nonsense from people.
Having said that, the most contributing factor that annoys me where people don't reciprocate. Whenever i felt that my actions were
bonafide, and they don't seem to care at all. Enough said. I don't want to waste my time on people who are really making me a
cuckoo or
don't appreciate what i did at all. Where's the respect i deserve? I'm not being demanding; I just want some basic courtesy i deserve, no matter how small it can be.
Bottomline. How much can my heart takes before it tears asunder?
Entry closed at 20:47 by riley-sama